Effective communication is like a two-way street; information and ideas must travel both ways to reach a shared destination of mutual understanding. A successful journey is just as much about inbound communication—listening—as it is about outbound communication—speaking.
But just like on physical journeys, sometimes communication breaks down. In and out of work, when you are having a conversation, it is frustrating when people don’t listen, and when you feel like you can’t get your points across. However, much like on the road, there are signs to look out for which can help guide the way to more effective communication.
When it feels like you’re not being heard at work, here are the three common types of listeners to look out for, along with tips to steer them toward more effective two-way communication.
How To Navigate 3 Types of Listeners for Effective Communication
- Stay grounded with the roadblock listener
Most people have experienced this type of listener. They dominate conversations; they’re not interested in what you say, and they don’t ask any questions. They talk ‘at’ you and broadcast their opinions. This type of communication feels entirely one-way. Whether you’re still recovering from being cornered at the office party, or work alongside them every day, you’ll know when you’ve encountered the roadblock listener.
As much as it might be appealing to try and avoid a colleague with this listening style, that’s not always possible. Whilst trying to change another person is unrealistic, the one person you can manage is yourself. Notice what is triggering you. Is it about not getting to share your opinion, or is it more about being interrupted? Is it about looking ineffective in front of others, or feeling disrespected? Once you better understand your own reactions, this will help you prepare for future interactions to better manage your response.
- Discover new routes with the dead end listener
Have you ever had a two-way conversation with a co-worker, and realized afterwards that you didn’t get anywhere? Perhaps the other person gave you space to express yourself, but their responses didn’t address your points. People with this listening style can appear to pay attention and nod in agreement, but you can find your conversation neatly diverted to their end goal. If the signs point to a dead end listener, interactions can make you feel confused or wary. This listening style can undermine trust, which is essential in healthy working relationships.
To communicate more effectively with a dead end listener, explore new perspectives to understand where your colleague’s behavior might be coming from. Could it come from a place of insecurity, or an inability to take on a difficult issue? Perhaps they find communication challenging, or are triggered by what was said and are using one of their coping mechanisms. Recognize whether your preconceptions or preferences have contributed to your interpretation of their behavior. Considering the most generous alternative will help you approach a conversation with kindness and curiosity, which might open up new possibilities.
- Find the right path with the off-road listener
The off-road listener means well and wants to help you reach the right destination, but you often don’t get what you need from the conversation. They might be sympathetic, and keen to agree with you or back up what you say, even when you’re looking for a different perspective. They may also be prompted to share a similar experience from their working life to demonstrate that they understand you. Communication with the off-road listener is two-way, but you may find yourself en route to the wrong destination.
Communication with an off-road listener is usually easier due to their good intentions, but they may not be skilled listeners. In this case, clear communication can help, such as saying that you’d like to vent but are not ready to be given solutions. Although many of us can see ourselves as good communicators, most people can be off-road listeners at some point, and a signpost can be all that’s needed to get back on track.
Listen Up: Overcome Barriers To Effective Communication In Today’s Workplace
In today’s fast-paced world, the erosion of listening skills is having a negative impact on workplace communication. To navigate this, you can take a more active role in the conversations you have. When you speak with a roadblock listener, you may not be able to get a word in edgewise, but you can become more aware of your triggers and try to understand yourself better. The dead-end listener gives you the opportunity to be more open-minded and consider new perspectives. And finally, you can take the driver’s seat with the off-road listener, to align your needs with your well-intentioned colleague. There will always be bumps in the road when it comes to effective communication, but as the composer John Powell wisely said, “Communication works for those who work at it.”
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