At the end of the year, when colleagues come together to celebrate the festive season, this can bring joy as well as conflict. When we watch others struggle with conflict, we may want to step into the role of peacemaker. Whether it’s a potential conflict at the office party or a heated disagreement around the Christmas table, here are 12 essential peacemaking tips from a workplace mediator: six things to try and six things to avoid when you help others to find a resolution to their issues.
12 Practical Tips for Peacemaking in 2025
- Do reflect on your role as a peacemaker
Most of the time, it’s best for people to manage their own conflicts rather than have someone else attempt to resolve the dispute for them. So, think about your peacemaking role as one of facilitating communication and promoting understanding. You can also help create a comfortable and safe environment for everyone involved.
- Don’t make assumptions
When you step into the role of peacemaker, you may already have some background information on the conflict. Perhaps a colleague has shared their views, or you overheard a tense exchange in the office. It’s easy to form preconceptions about the issues at hand; however, remember that these assumptions are often inaccurate and can influence your thinking and behavior. Approach the situation afresh, with curiosity and an open mind, and don’t make assumptions.
- Do be careful of how you communicate
Be mindful of your language and explore views cautiously. Definitive language, such as “You did that because…” or “You felt disappointed,” imposes your opinion and can make others feel defensive or not heard. Instead, use tentative language, such as “might” or “could,” which leaves more room for discussion and helps you approach a peacemaking conversation with a desire to learn and explore.
- Don’t be judgmental
Being perceived as impartial and non-judgmental is essential in acting as a peacemaker. It’s natural to have biases that affect your feelings and thoughts. For example, you may dislike anger or strong language, but be conscious not to favor someone with a calmer approach or an approach you find more comfortable. Mediators focus on being fastidiously impartial, from the questions they ask to ensuring that the parties get equal airtime.
- Do notice what you’re doing
Self-awareness is a theme underlying many of these peacemaking tips. The next aspect is to be aware of your unconscious reactions. In a desire to show support or understanding, you might mirror someone else’s expressions or movements, or nod in response to a point. What might be meant as a general expression of encouragement can be interpreted as support or agreement, undermining your impartiality.
- Don’t just listen for facts
When people are in conflict, they tend to focus on how to make sure they get their points across and on establishing who’s right and wrong; listening can be a challenge! A powerful way to help is to listen deeply and to pick up on other cues. Deep listening tips from a mediator include listening for repetition, intentions, and feelings. These can then be prompts to dig further to identify the underlying issues, or encourage people to share the personal impact, which helps to build empathy.
- Do highlight acts of kindness
In the midst of a dispute, parties are likely to focus on the negatives. Part of your role as a peacemaker is acknowledging the opportunities, highlighting when someone says something conciliatory, or shows kindness in conflict. This helps draw attention to positive intent or a desire to build bridges.
- Don’t try to move people too fast
Effective conflict resolution takes time. People need space to express their feelings and share perspectives before considering other possibilities. Getting to the real issues can also take time, as people sometimes hesitate to reveal deeper concerns until a level of trust is established. You can support this process by ensuring it isn’t rushed.
- Do bring a lightness
Conversations relating to conflict are often uncomfortable, as many people lack the skills or confidence to navigate disagreements. While issues can be serious and significantly affect those involved, there is sometimes room to introduce a moment of lightness. This can help ease the tension, bring warmth, and foster connection.
- Don’t bring too much of yourself
When listening to other people’s experiences, people tend to share similar experiences, to relate and build rapport. However, in your role as a peacemaker, this isn’t so useful. Individual circumstances are different, and one person’s lived experience differs greatly from yours. Remember to put your own stories to one side and allow more space for others to talk, share, and explore their perspectives.
- Do know when to suggest help
There’s much you can do to support people in conflict and help them find their own path forward. However, part of your role is recognizing when additional support may be needed. Conflict can significantly affect mental and physical health, so if you’re concerned, consider suggesting privately that someone seeks support.
- Don’t lose hope
As conflict can be complex, and take time to work through, there may be times when it feels like no progress is being made. However, breakthroughs can happen unexpectedly. A small act of kindness might inspire a reciprocal gesture, or a subtle shift in how something is expressed could spark a moment of self-awareness. So, stay hopeful, without projecting that hope, as it can force positivity.
Peacemaking in 2025: Final thoughts
The end of the year is also often a time for reflection. In a troubled world, conflict appears to be everywhere, and as individuals, our ability to effect peace may seem limited. However, each of us can play a role in fostering peace within our own spheres—whether at work or home. By learning and practicing peacemaking and conflict resolution skills, we can make a meaningful difference to those around us and may inspire others to do the same in their own circles. Wishing you peace and joy this holiday season!
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