We live in a time of extraordinary technological connectivity, yet our human connections often feel more fragmented than ever. The pace of work, the dominance of digital communication, hybrid and remote arrangements, and growing societal polarisation all play a part. We are constantly engaging, but how often are we truly listening? How often are we pausing long enough to consider how we speak and what impact our words may have on others?
In this evolving landscape, the skills required to manage workplace conflict have also shifted. We need to re-learn how to engage with one another in an open-minded, empathetic and self-aware way. These interpersonal skills are no longer optional soft skills; they are essential for building trust, maintaining psychological safety, and creating cohesive and resilient teams at a time when many people at work experience transactional relationships and disconnection.
Conflict often stems from a breakdown in how we communicate and understand each other. Here are five modern-day drivers of workplace conflict, the skills we need to respond more effectively, and how leaders within organisations can embed these essential skills.
What’s getting in the way of connection?
Despite the best of intentions, many teams today struggle to connect in meaningful ways. These five common dynamics often sit beneath the surface of workplace tension, and can quietly erode trust, communication and cohesion.
Weaker relationships, built on tasks, not trust
With fewer spontaneous conversations and more transactional ways of working, it’s easy for relationships to become surface-level. When our interactions are limited to tasks and to-do lists, we miss the opportunity to build deeper understanding and connection. Without that foundation of trust, it’s harder to have honest conversations, especially when there’s disagreement or tension.
1. Social glue is missing
In busy, dispersed teams, informal connection often falls by the wayside. The opportunities for coffee catch-ups, impromptu desk chats or shared laughter over lunch, have been reduced. These light-touch moments might seem small, but they play a powerful role in smoothing tensions and reinforcing a sense of belonging. Without them, we’re more likely to misread situations or let minor issues fester. Even hybrid teams can foster these connections by building in regular virtual catch-ups and social interactions like virtual coffees.
2. Silence isn’t always golden
In fast-moving workplaces, less communication often becomes the norm. We assume others know what we mean, or we avoid tricky conversations altogether. But less communication can lead to increased misunderstanding, isolation and disengagement, especially when people don’t feel seen or heard.
3. Miscommunication hides in the medium
Our dependence on emails and messaging platforms means we often miss the nuances that help us understand each other: body language, tone of voice, and subtle social cues. Without these, the potential for misinterpretation increases, and with it, the risk of conflict. A comment that might be brushed off in person can land harshly in writing.
4. Conflict can disappear from view, until it’s too late
When we’re not in the same physical space, or we don’t build in regular virtual check-ins, it is easier to ignore early signs of conflict. People may avoid addressing issues directly, or they may not even realise a problem is brewing. But unspoken tension doesn’t disappear. It tends to grow quietly in the background, until it reaches a point where it’s much harder to resolve.
5. Rediscovering the communication skills that hold us together
In the face of today’s workplace pressures, it’s easy to fall into habits of rushed, reactive or surface-level communication. But when tensions arise, it’s the quality of our communication that will help us understand each other better and resolve the tensions we may feel in our workplace relationships. This is why how we listen, how we speak, and how we show up in conversation will determine whether conflict deepens or moves towards resolution.
These human-to-human skills are powerful tools for building trust, understanding and connection. And they can be learned, practised and strengthened, starting with how we listen.
Listening: A skill that needs to be rebuilt
One of the most powerful ways to reduce conflict and build better relationships at work is to listen. This sounds simple, but genuine listening requires intention, effort and self-awareness. It’s about more than being silent while the other person speaks. It’s about being fully present, and willing to hear what’s being said without rushing to respond.
In practice, this means noticing where your attention is. Are you focusing on the speaker, or are you preparing your next reply? Are you open to their perspective, even if it differs from your own? It takes courage and curiosity to listen to views that are different to our own.
Deeper listening: Check for understanding
If you don’t understand something, say so. Ask clarifying questions. You could say: “If I’m hearing you right, you’re saying X. Is that correct?” This not only shows that you’re making an effort to understand, but it also gives the other person the opportunity to feel heard and clarify their point of view.
When conversations get difficult, stay curious and calm. Try: “I’d like to understand more about where you’re coming from.” This sort of language creates the conditions for dialogue rather than debate. And dialogue is where connection and resolution can grow.
Speaking thoughtfully, with purpose and care
When we address conflict, how we speak matters as much as what we say. Rather than launching into a criticism, such as, “Your email made me really angry!”, try, “Are you free for a chat? I’d like to speak about the email you sent me, and how I felt about it. I’d also like to hear your perspective.”
Framing the conversation in this way invites openness and signals your commitment to the relationship. Collaborative conflict conversations use language like: “I value working with you,” or “I’d like to understand what’s going on for you.” Even when emotions run high, staying open-minded, curious and respectful can shift the tone in a constructive way.
A timely investment in your people
Conflict is not inherently bad. When approached constructively, it can spark creativity and change, and strengthen our relationships. But in today’s working world, managing conflict well requires an intentional shift towards better communication, deeper listening, and more thoughtful engagement.
Many organisations are feeling the pressure. But those that invest in building these essential human skills, through training, coaching or specialist support, are setting their teams up for long-term success. In a future where connection and collaboration are key, this is an investment worth making.
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