Why Your Colleagues Aren’t Listening To You (and What To Do About It)

In today’s world, the art of listening seems to be on the decline. From politicians railing at their opponents to polarizing debates on social media, the emphasis is often on driving points home rather than listening to perspectives different from our own. With working and personal lives increasingly intertwined, this trend is also being played out in the workplace.

At work, there will always be times when people aren’t able to give their full attention, which can be overlooked within a trusting relationship, or when the lack of listening is not habitual. However, when colleagues consistently fail to listen, it can lead to feelings of frustration, misunderstanding, or even conflict.

Whether it’s a debate by the water cooler or an important discussion with a teammate, if you feel unheard, there are ways to foster better communication and ensure your voice is heard. Here’s why your colleagues might not be listening—and what you can do about it:

Because they’re thinking of what to say next

During difficult conversations, many people think more about how to respond than actively listen to what’s being said. This can be even more pronounced in team settings, where members might interrupt or speak over each other to get their point across. Recognizing that others are mentally preparing their response rather than ignoring you can help you understand that this isn’t necessarily personal.

Because of how they experience you

How you express yourself will also influence whether someone is able to listen to you. Using non-judgmental language is essential and helps others to hear a difficult message. This is why you need to be conscious of your communication style and know how to intentionally use explicit and implicit language. A calm tone of voice and open body language also lay the ground for a constructive two-way conversation based on mutual understanding.

Because of technological noise

While technology boosts productivity in many ways, it can also hinder meaningful communication. Research has found that email use can cause stress, with the average person, checking email 77 times per day. With constant notifications from emails, messages, and apps, staying focused on a conversation can be a challenge. In these tech-driven environments, a phone call or face-to-face conversation often works better than digital messages when trying to have someone’s full attention.

Because of the lens you look through

Finally, having applied the points above, if you still feel you’re not being listened to, it’s worth remembering that you are experiencing this from your own unique perspective. Cognitive biases—unconscious errors in thinking—can skew our interpretation of events. If there have been occasions when you perceived that a work colleague didn’t listen to you, or when you felt that your boss didn’t take your views into account, this may have more to do with how you read the situation than with reality. It is, therefore, helpful to become more aware of how much of that perception is influenced by your own biases.

When you are struggling to be heard, remember that many factors are at play, including communication styles, external distractions, and personal perceptions. This awareness will help you and others engage in listening as a two-way communication process. When you aim for dialogue rather than monologue, you can improve both how you listen and how others hear you.

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